iPhone, "Smartphone" ... Not so smart

I'd like to reiterate a statistic that I have mentioned in a previous post: We check our "smartphone" an average of 150 times a day.

150 times! 

Now, Let's say most of us sleep at least 8 hours of a night, that leaves you with 16 hours of the day to play with your device (hopefully most of you have some alternative form of vibrating device to play with). We can safely say that we check our "smartphone" almost every 6 minutes! 

The reason I have reiterated this statistic is simply because I am inundated with a similar question from many of you. 

Why does he take so long to reply to my text, email or phone call? Most of you live in hope that he hasn't seen the message yet, you keep telling yourselves, "oh,he must be busy"...he's not. 

He's seen your message and he's doing one of a few things:

Smiling and sharing your message, possibly gloating to himself or his friends  or thinking about how should he respond, as most men do not have a way with words. 

However, the most likely reason there is no message tone or vibrating reverberation from your "Smartphone" is simply because, he is NOT FUCKING INTERESTED!

I apologise for my bluntness, however I feel it's required in this instance, for many of you live in hope, hope that he is not like the rest of us and doesn't check his "smartphone" as often as the next person. Sadly, your friends may also support your illogical frame of mind and agree with you. 

Which brings me to my next point. Busy: If that's the response he's coughing up because it's taken him 6 hours to respond, Its a lie. Its simply to buy time, blow you off. That so called "time" is bought so he can have space, think and respond to the messages he feels require his attention. If you haven't heard back in 24 hours, then you don't have his attention nor should you want it. Move on. Again, He's not fucking interested.

I get it, you all hate the games. Why can't he just tell you if he's interested or not. This is not how men think, we are constantly on the lookout for something better. Better job, better house, better car...better female companion. There is method to his madness as there should be to yours. Trust in what I'm about to tell you, these small phrases will keep most men on the hook and you may even hang onto him, if he's someone you really want. (This will have to be my next post - I'm busy)

Leave a message below. Hit that like button, copy and paste this link in and email and send to your friends. Sharing is caring, even if you're both competing for the same guy. 

Till the next time you have the pleasure of receiving me in your inbox.

YES. 150 times a day. Click here, I'm not making this stuff up.

Single female looking for...

2013! 

Happiest new years to all of my fanatical followers. I appreciate the love. Touli, good things come to those who wait. ;-)

My sincere apologies for not  posting earlier. (Insert any male excuse you've heard before). I will not attempt to insult your intelligence.  

It has come to my attention that some women have followed the Sex and the City story a tad too closely:  Girls nights out frequenting bars/dating sites/gyms?!! -  searching for Mr.Right and then complaining that all you've found is Mr. He never calls or texts me back. 

Whilst a great TV show it may be, Mr. Big marrying Carrie took 6 seasons, 96 episodes and a drab feature film for them to get hitched, so what's the rush? (I still don't know what the second film was about...anyone???!!)

I've spoken/responded to many a female's query about the waiting game and why if it's good for the goose (apt description) then why is it not good for the gander. There is a reasonable simple answer that dates back as far as history. Men!

Yes we crave the Wonder Woman who can suck a golf ball through a garden hose, but this is real life, it's not Hugh Hefner's latest edition of Playboy. We all love the idea that our woman is promiscuous behind closed doors, but this is something we want to find out a little further down the track than our first evening together. Here's why:

The youth of today has been privy to information and elicit footage that the Y Generation had to experience through embarrassing and somewhat exciting trial and error. These promiscuous youths of today are offering services that some adults still haven't experienced. Some services I still haven't experienced.

So let's break it down from a male perspective. I'm offered an evening of minimal discussion with maximum exertion and the ability to walk away with no questions asked. I'm taking it...8-10 times. Believe it or not, this becomes monotonous and boring to the best of us. We search for something more. Something different, something that reminds us that we enjoy the chase, the thrill of not knowing the inevitable. Men are primal and we love to be rewarded for things we do well...courting you for example.

This is a positive for you. It comes down to what you're willing to give, or in this case not give to get what you want. I understand that you also have needs, you may enjoy sex and the occasional orgasm. 

Buy a vibrator. The average time men last in bed is 12 minutes. Think about that for a moment... that means there is a heap of men that can pleasure stroke you for 8 minutes or less! You're really not missing out on that much. Surely that vibrating enjoyment device can save you some precious time till you find the man that wants to break the 12 minute barrier. 

Feel free to leave a comment below (anonymous if you wish).

Ill be in touch sooner than your last male companion. 

The eX Factor

                The eX Factor

Firstly, thanks to all for the great response to my last post. The more feedback I receive, the better information you will receive from a male POV. The thirty-second text message time frame cannot be ignored; there really is no excuse for a non-response the same day you’ve sent a text.

I’m going to step away from the text message discussion but will readdress in the next post.

Now, It seems many of you have a common query, a concern of sorts and have requested a male opinion. 

Do I date my Ex? The answer is YES…and NO.

We’ve all been there, the break up, the sudden feeling of being alone, the constant reminders of that relationship, whether good or bad. That song that comes on the radio that makes you punch a pillow in anger or cry tears whilst reaching for the tissues. Then it happens…

You get a text message or email from him asking if you’re okay. (It’s very rarely a phone call). The message telling you how much he’s missed you, the message that says: Maybe I made a mistake, can we catch up and chat about things, see if we can work things out?

You should respond: Who is this? Nothing is going to change in two weeks or two months. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you and don’t let the dribble that comes from his mouth deceive you.

Men are like dogs. We like to mark out territory and we get extremely upset if another dog is sniffing around our tree, let alone peeing on it! The messages you receive in the first month of a break up should be avoided at all costs. This is a man merely stroking his ego, as you are no longer there to stroke anything else.

If he has recently broke up with you and then contacts you in the first month, it’s for the following reasons.

·      Sex

·      To see if you have moved on (his ego)

·      Sex

·      To pick up anything he may have left behind

·      Sex

·      To keep you on the hook while he fishes elsewhere.

·      SEX

If this is happening to you then NO, it is not Okay to date your Ex. He broke up with you for a reason…or you dumped his ass for a reason; those reasons are still there and will not change. Not in a month…not in three months. The off again on again late night sex sessions are doing you no favours. You can’t tell me that you’re enjoying the sex. Surely afterwards he’s made an excuse and exited stage left, telling you that he feels bad and maybe he shouldn’t be there. It’s too soon.

Let’s say you’ve broken up with your Ex semi-amicably (I don’t believe that exists); and then, say, 18 months later you bump into him, exchange pleasantries and go your separate ways, thinking about the good times, not the bad. If he texts or emails you requesting some further face time. GO FOR IT. But under no circumstances do you contact him first. Why? You must be the receiver of the messages. This relays to my previous posts. You need to be in control of the when, where, why, how often and what time you meet. Not he. If you really want this to work then follow the rules, and treat this like a new relationship.

People do change and great relationships depend on great timing. When you’re in control of your emotions then you can begin to think with your head and not your heart.

If you have decided to walk this path, then eyes wide open please. If you see the old patterns re-emerging, the late notice about dinner plans, the 5 hour or 5 day text response times, the taking of the phone to the toilet… then pull the pin and let this go. He hasn’t changed and he won’t change. Hopefully this time, you controlled “the game” and haven’t ended up hurt.

Remember, the best predictor for future behavior is what has transpired in the past. Be open to the possibility of successfully dating your Ex, but don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out.

Tell all your friends, don't forget to hit that FB like button to the right. 

I'll be in touch soon. Till then...