Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Still waiting for Mr.Right?

Note to self: He Doesn't exist. 

Just for the record, neither do perfect women. We live in an imperfect world, deal with it. 
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. 

Did you know, The average person will check their "smartphone" at least 150 times a day?

I'm hoping that most of you reading this will have access to a smart phone. An iPhone, blackberry, Samsung, get the idea. 
Please follow these simple steps:

1. Go to the stopwatch/timer application   on your phone - those who don't have this feature, use a stop watch, or keep track of the seconds on any time piece.
2.    Start Stopwatch/timer
3.    Click - Create new message
4.    Type any of the following phrases:     

  *Call you soon. 
     *Thinking of you.
     *In a meeting. 
     *Extremely horny
5.    Press send
6.    Stop stopwatch

This should take you a maximum of 30secs from the start of the process to pressing the send button, thus sending your message off into the texting stratosphere.

30seconds!That's how long it should take Joe "Suave" to send you a message to make you smile, ease your mind, tickle that fancy spot in your pants that is currently being pleasured in your alone time.
Ask yourself this question.  What should I do If I'm currently dating/seeing someone in the infancy stages, (some refer to this as the honeymoon stage); and I'm not getting a text message the same day that I sent him a text message?

MALE RESPONSE: Do yourself and the friends you're  bitching to a favor...  change his name on your phone to: 

GIVES ME FUCK ALL! Then let's see how you respond when you hear that beeping/vibrating sound and see his name flash on your screen at 10:40pm on a Wednesday night.

Preferably, I'd rather you deleted your interested party's number and move on to the next potential Mr.Right. (We know he doesn't exist). Because all you have now is; Mr. I'll fuck you till he gets here. 

Want to rock a male's ego?
When Mr. I'm too busy to text, finally does text you... 

Text back these two words: 

Who's this?

So if he isn't texting you, he's certainly texting someone else. 

Till the next time you have the pleasure of receiving me in your inbox.

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Feel free to comment below, i love reading from you.   

Monday, June 3, 2013

Texting Time

What are your fondest memories of any relationship? 

The infancy of any relationship is extremely important. You do not owe him anything at this stage, so feel free to adopt a persona, someone that is intriguing and self confident. Yes you can. It's not lying; it's suggestive information that assists in attracting men. Everyone enjoys being someone else, even if for just a day.

When you're sent a text or ever asked the question "so, what have you been up to" your response should incorporate the following.
- You’ve been busy, fun busy
- Gym
- Something creative

- Any type of social function.
- Rock climbing
- Shooting range
- Sexpo
- Any type of media event
- Fashion show
- Theatre
- Insert topics that make you smile

You get the point? Anything that tells me you're an interesting human that hasn't been waiting by the phone for my text or phone call. In regards to that, when you're in the courting stages, and a male attempts to contact you, please Do not do the following:

- Answer the call immediately, in fact don't answer
- Respond to a text within 45 mins
- Call him back within 15 mins if you do miss the   call
- If he doesn’t answer your return call, PLEASE  DO NOT  send him a text saying.... I'm sorry I missed you're call, I just missed it, I tried to call you but didn't answer, anyway, call me, I'll answer for sure next time.

This tells me two things: 

1. You’re desperate.
2. It will be extremely easy for me to get laid. 

I get it, this part of the relationship sucks, however it's like building a house, it all starts with the foundation. These first actions and reactions set the theme and the tone of the relationship. Do us both a favor and make sure it's built solidly. Later in the blog I'll show you how to find cracks and ways you can repair them.

Hit that like button and forward this to your friends, it will show them you care and also show me some love.

Till the next time you have the pleasure of receiving me in your inbox.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

iPhone, "Smartphone" ... Not so smart

I'd like to reiterate a statistic that I have mentioned in a previous post: We check our "smartphone" an average of 150 times a day.
150 times! 

Now, Let's say most of us sleep at least 8 hours of a night, that leaves you with 16 hours of the day to play with your device (hopefully most of you have some alternative form of vibrating device to play with). We can safely say that we check our "smartphone" almost every 6 minutes! 

The reason I have reiterated this statistic is simply because I am inundated with a similar question from many of you. 
Why does he take so long to reply to my text, email or phone call? Most of you live in hope that he hasn't seen the message yet, you keep telling yourselves, "oh,he must be busy"...he's not. 

He's seen your message and he's doing one of a few things:
Smiling and sharing your message, possibly gloating to himself or his friends  or thinking about how should he respond, as most men do not have a way with words. 

However, the most likely reason there is no message tone or vibrating reverberation from your "Smartphone" is simply because, he is NOT FUCKING INTERESTED!

I apologise for my bluntness, however I feel it's required in this instance, for many of you live in hope, hope that he is not like the rest of us and doesn't check his "smartphone" as often as the next person. Sadly, your friends may also support your illogical frame of mind and agree with you. 

Which brings me to my next point. Busy: If that's the response he's coughing up because it's taken him 6 hours to respond, Its a lie. Its simply to buy time, blow you off. That so called "time" is bought so he can have space, think and respond to the messages he feels require his attention. If you haven't heard back in 24 hours, then you don't have his attention nor should you want it. Move on. Again, He's not fucking interested.

I get it, you all hate the games. Why can't he just tell you if he's interested or not. This is not how men think, we are constantly on the lookout for something better. Better job, better house, better car...better female companion. There is method to his madness as there should be to yours. Trust in what I'm about to tell you, these small phrases will keep most men on the hook and you may even hang onto him, if he's someone you really want. (This will have to be my next post - I'm busy)

Leave a message below. Hit that like button, copy and paste this link in and email and send to your friends. Sharing is caring, even if you're both competing for the same guy. 

Till the next time you have the pleasure of receiving me in your inbox.